IMG_4565Deadlines, electronic medical records, parking tickets, paper grading and the cost of rent in Toronto. What do these seemingly varied delights all have in common? They all contribute to complicating our lives and do nothing more than turn the drip-rate up on our cortisol lines. When we think of healthy living, our minds frequently turn to proper diet and exercise. We often forget that while our bodies are undergoing the latest juice cleanse and sweating away impurities, our poor brains may be stuck masticating super-sized portions of the same soggy, deep-fried thoughts.

Modern society always takes the blame for today’s health complaints but, after all, we wouldn’t be in this mess if it weren’t for the constant barrage of comparisons and to-do lists that haunt our daily realities. So, because I care deeply about the mental health of society, I have compiled an easy list of ways to simplify your life. Pour that carrot beet juice into your cerebral spinal fluid and give your brain a nice, cleansing wash.

1. Food and Drink

a. Turn off your TV. b. head to the grocery store. c. Once there, pick up a cart or basket, depending on your food volume needs. d. Sticking to the edges of the store, add in the vegetables and fruit you think: i. look tasty ii. are in season and iii. fit your budget. e. Next, hit the meat section. Buy some. (Legumes if you’re vegetarian) f. Buy eggs. g. In the middle of the store, pick up some herbs and spices, brown rice, quinoa, coconut milk, coconut oil and olive oil. h. Once you get home, look up the names of the things you bought on the internet. Google something like “recipe + beef + rice + spinach + tomato”. i. See what comes up. j. Consider purchasing a slow cooker or Dutch oven and let your food cook itself while you turn your TV back on. k. Ignore all TV commercials pertaining to food. j. Wine and water (tap).

2. Appearance

a. Find a pair of pants that fit you like a dream and allow you to sit, walk and ride a bicycle with ease. b. Buy a pair in every colour. c. Purchase the rest of your wardrobe at second-hand stores. d. Pair down your hair products to two things. e. Try to encompass your footwear needs with 3-5 pairs of shoes and boots. f. Use a BB cream – one with sunscreen. g. Use oil to wash it off your face at night. h. begin to learn to accept the nose/chin/butt/hair you were born with and find them beautiful in their own way.

3. Transportation

a. Walk everywhere. b. If you can’t walk, bike. c. If it’s too cold to walk/bike, take the subway/bus. d. If you live too far away to take public transport, walk or bike, then it’s time to move. e. Or buy a private helicopter.

4. Relationships

a. Choose a handful of people that mean a lot to you. b. Make an effort to see them and spend quality time with them. c. Tell them you love them often. d. Try to manage your expectations. e. Journal a list of the things you need from relationships. f. Try to use self-love to meet those needs. Meditation and journalling help with this. g. Online dating.

5. Social media

a. Determine how social media serves your life: Business promotion? Keeping in touch with your high school friends? Comparing children? Broadcasting your running routes? b. Log on, engage in these activities and then log off. c. Know when you’ve had enough.

6. Money

a. Find out how much money you make. b. Create a budget of how much your spend. c. Attempt to make a bigger than b. e. If b is bigger than a, try to make b smaller or a bigger. f. To make b smaller, see sections 1, 2 and 3. g. Consider that fact that making b as small as comfort allows could be the secret to simplicity and saving the world. h. Smile while paying taxes. i. If you have the means, donate time and/or money.

7. Breathing

a. Don’t forget to.

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